Living in the Midst of Depression

 

Living in the Midst of Depression

Hi, my name is Nathania, I am a person who suffers from depression and has been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). So here I just wanted to share a bit about my depression. Since on the 10th of October that mental awareness is raised worldwide.

To give you a bit of background info. The World Health Organization (WHO) done worldwide research in 2019 that 13% which is about 197million people of people suffer from any kind of mental disorder. Mental disorder is not only depression but also suicide, bipolar disorder, mentally disabled, PTSD, PPD, etc. There is a long list to be named. But let's keep that short. 

Coming back to depression it is one of my worst nightmare next to being diagnosed with PTSD. But PTSD is a story for another time. If you haven't been through it you will never understand what it means. The darkness, pain, confusion, anxiety, spiraling down with no way out.

So yes suicide is for some people than the only option. But I got close to it, so close that I realized that life itself wasn’t worth living anymore. Which really scares me because going down that hole and never being able to get back out. So suicide was on my to-do list and no I was not ready to die. I still had more life to live, more people to reach out to and it is not over yet.

Well, as you can read this is pretty dark to write for the Internet. And definitely for a time like this like depression while we are suffering from the coronavirus crisis. So why not write something else. I have chosen not to because I want to raise awareness. And that there still is hope in the midst of it all.

At the end of it going through depression has been scary but also at peace that I have it. It is okay to live with depression. So I have been struggling with it for 16 years and I am happy to received help. Not only from friends but mainly also a therapist. Not ashamed to say that I needed that. 

I am proud of getting professional help to get back on my feet because without it I couldn’t be able to function. But next to that I have amazing people that I have met over the years. That has been there for me at the right moment in my life. Some of them were just for a moment but believe me, you need those also in your life.

So if you know someone who suffers from depression. 

Just be there for them, be present. But not too overbearing because the overload of attention is also too much. 

Also just ask your friend what does he/she needs from you. Sometimes they do not know what they want so just telling them, hello and I am still here for you. Might be the best thing you can ever do. 

Next, don’t ever give up or be all about positive vibes cause that is the thing we resent the most.

So for those who are suffering from depression. There is still hope. Find someone who cares about you enough and that you feel safe with. Cause when you are spiraling, which means overeating or not eating, do not want to do anything at all. And even before you get to the part of death seems like the better option. 

Try to reach out cause you can't be helped if people don't know that you need help. Get to know yourself, by all means, your triggers and patterns, or even therapy it is scary but believe me it is helpful to have a person that is an outsider to just sit and listen there. Even though you might think you do not know about what I feel. 

There is enough darkness out there so we still need you out here to make a difference.  So let's keep raising awareness. 

Stay save

Nathania Paula

P.S. Feel free to reach out to me if you just need someone to listen to you. On Instagram: @nathaniapau. Be blessed and take care or leave here in the comments whatever you feel more comfortable with. 😊